NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Recycling Fairy officially admitted to World Council of Household Fairies

bringing the whole fairy movement bang up to dateAs anticipated, the World Council of Household Fairies today unanimously voted to admit the Recycling Fairy as a full member of F8, as the enlarged council will now be known. ‘It was only a matter of time really,’ said the Rubbish Fairy, to whom Recycling previously reported as Deputy Fairy in charge of Recycling Division.

‘Recycling was fun for a while, and with kids learning about it at school and being keen to put paper, glass, food waste, plastic and cans in the correct receptacles, it wasn’t possible to justify the creation of a separate department. But now all that stuff is just being left lying around along with everything else, a standalone Recycling Department with its own full Fairy has become an absolute necessity.’

This is the first time a deputy fairy has set up a new department since Dishwasher (Stacking and Emptying) broke away from Washing Up a decade ago. Many saw the creation of the new post as a political move by the Rubbish Fairy in his year as President of F8, but some feared that it might backfire, leaving the Rubbish Department dangerously small and vulnerable to takeover, with Recycling ironically the most likely suitor, but the Rubbish Fairy refused to comment.

In other moves, Clean Linen has been officially recognised as a separate division within Linen, leaving the Linen Fairy to focus on the issue of increasing quantities of dirty linen. Lobbying continues for the creation of a full Standby Fairy, who some speculate could take Tooth’s chair at the top table, but for now the responsibility for turning off appliances left on standby will remain with the Department of What You Lot Need is a Full Time Servant (WYLNFTS), along with drawer closing and toilet seat lowering.

In a surprise late announcement, Rubbish revealed it had poached the Sweet Papers and Vacuuming Deputy Fairies from WYLNFTS in a move it said would create natural synergies, leaving WYLNFTS potentially the most vulnerable if Standby does in due course break away as predicted.

Share this story...

Send to a Friend:





Click to send this story to a friend

Posted: Aug 9th, 2009 by Des Custard

Tagged as: , , ,

Click for more stories about: Features