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Young British holidaymakers ‘to pre-book prison cells’

Thomas Cook trumpeted a new cell reservation scheme that is to offer young holidaymakers prison accommodation without having to get paralytically drunk and in a brawl first.

‘Often our customers don’t get arrested until the middle of their first night on holiday, and often the only cells left are too near the brain-fried hippy on E, or involve sharing with the sexually frustrated biker,’ explained a rep. ‘Now we can ensure our customers can hear the disco and have a view of the café selling Full English breakfasts and Carling — directly from their barred window’.

The scheme has proved an instant success and cell review websites have already appeared, with comments noting that the reserved cells are ‘so much nicer than the one I have at home’ and how ‘no booze for a week left me feeling really energised for kicking someone’s head in Saturday’.

BriD

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Posted: Aug 10th, 2009 by Guest

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