Tesco car parks to offer ‘lazy bastard’ parking bays


Tesco supermarket car parks will be offering specially marked parking spaces for idle shoppers from tomorrow.  The spaces are intended for use by those who normally park in the disabled or mother and toddler bays without actually having a disability, a small child, or indeed, a small disabled child with them.

‘There’s clearly a demand for these special parking bays’ said Peter Mallett, manager of Tesco’s supermarket in Muswell Hill.  ‘We figured that the only reason for this is that the drivers using the bays must be too bloody lazy to walk the 50 yards or so from the general parking area to the shop entrance.  In an effort to keep the disabled bays clear of selfish, bone idle buggers, we have repainted ‘bloke in an armchair’ symbols in the spaces nearest the cashpoint machines.’

Local council officials are paying close attention to this new scheme, and if it proves successful, plans are afoot to have similar bays painted outside post offices, banks and bookmakers in most high streets by the end of the financial year.

(Graphic by Curmudgeon)

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Posted: Aug 23rd, 2009 by

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