NewsBiscuit

Traffic chaos in Kingston-upon-Thames today has been blamed on the side-effects of one man’s deodorant, local officials claimed. The culprit, Kingston resident Derek Dale, 27, was apparently walking through the town centre, with the intention of visiting Bentall’s Shopping Centre, when seemingly all the women in the vicinity began surrounding him, making low, involuntary groaning noises. Many of those affected had even abandoned cars in the middle of the street, causing traffic to grind to a halt.

‘At first we thought we might be under chemical attack,” claimed environmental officer Tony Greenspan, who was first on the scene. “But then we noticed how the victims all seemed to be gravitating toward a young man outside Ryman The Stationers.’

The ‘Lynx Effect’ wore off several minutes after Dale was hosed down by environmental officers, leaving scores of women dazed and confused as to their whereabouts.

Ichabod

Posted: Sep 4th, 2009 by Guest