Doctors invent the ‘morning-after’ kebab

Available over the counter in all reputable fast-food outlets

Available over the counter in all reputable fast-food outlets

Pharmacists have today launched a new emergency contraceptive for couples who fail to take sensible precautions against post-nightclub sex by ingesting partially re-heated meat off-cuts.  The ‘morning-after’ kebab, ideally purchased in advance and left to mature overnight, works by turning the human body into an inhospitable environment for all forms of life, and is also an effective hangover cure.

Despite apparent enthusiasm for the ‘kebab method’ among twenty-something drinkers, researchers have admitted that some participants in trials experienced side-effects of dehydration and profound physical discomfort, while a not insignificant percentage reported an increased level of childbirth roughly nine months later.  As such, the product is being advertised under the slogan ‘Shish happens – doner worry’.

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Posted: Sep 8th, 2009 by

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