Undercover researchers from Amnesty have discovered Britain’s millions of missing bees, working around-the-clock in Vietnam to produce souvenir honey for the 2012 Olympic Games. Attempts to rescue them floundered, however, as the bees turned on their would-be saviours. ‘The conditions are fiercely hot, sticky, overcrowded and airless,’ said a spokesbee, ‘We love it.’
Far from having been kidnapped by traffickers as alleged by British newspapers, the bees said they had applied for work permits for the country where they were guaranteed an exotic pollen-filled environment that was everything the gangmasters at Rowse honey in the UK had ever promised and more.
‘After three miserable wet summers at home, enough was enough,’ commented one ex-pat bee, ‘although I wish we’d packed something other than these furry yellow and black uniforms, we just look overdressed out here’.