Unnamed celebrity accused of doing absolutely nothing

A well known celebrity, who wishes to remain anonymous, has today sensationally claimed that another well known celebrity who (s)he does not wish to name did nothing to him/her 10 years ago and that (s)he does not want to talk about it ever again.

But a friend said yesterday: ‘(S)He has not told me anything about the incident other than that it didn’t happen on a shopping trip to a small market town.’ The friend spoke out after the other celebrity thought to be at the centre of the sensational non-story angrily denied that (s)he had anything to do with the incident that never took place.

A spokesperson for the police said: “I feel for the celebrity. But unfortunately nothing happening is all too common nowadays, especially in small market towns, and there’s really nothing we can do.”

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