There were scenes of indescribable horror and bloodshed today as a gang of dinosaurs and cars attacked the fairy castle of Princess Annabel and her friends while they were having tea in the bedroom of Maisie Forrester, 4, at 38 Spencer Road Mansfield. Early reports say that no survivors are expected to be found.
According to eye witness Jack Forrester, 7, the sudden and unprovoked attack began with Lewis Hamilton’s racing car battering down the windows of the castle, sending the princesses’ handbags flying in all directions. This was only the preliminary to the horror to come.
T-Rex and Allosaurus then descended on Princess Annabel, biting both her legs off before chewing her soppy little kittens into a million billion pieces, Forrester alleges. ‘From my vantage point on the bed, I saw Princess Emily come running out in her stupid red shoes screaming,’ he added, ‘but the Aston Martin ran her down. It hit her so hard her knickers fell off which was well funny.’
Over the years, there had been considerable political tension between the dinosaur-car alliance and the fairy princesses. However, it had always stopped short of outright war. Forrester has cast doubt on stories that teddies sympathetic to the princesses may seek to avenge the murderous rampage.
‘I’d like to see those stupid bears try and stop them,’ he said. “If they get anywhere near us, Action Man will kick them in the willy and gun them down uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. Wicked.’