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BBC stands by Clarkson after he admits: ‘I shot JFK’

was he working alone, or did he get help from a hamster?BBC directors are said to be ‘a bit miffed’ by news that Jeremy Clarkson has admitted to assassinating former US President John F Kennedy. But they say that they have no plans to fire the outspoken presenter from his job on the motoring programme Top Gear.

Clarkson (66) confessed to the shooting during his current one-man show ‘Global Warming My Arse’. He owned up to an audience in Sevenoaks, during an extended answer to a question about speed bumps: ‘That little Liberal sh*t had it coming’ he told the delighted crowd ‘he’d p*ssed off General Motors, he’d got on the wrong side of Frank (Sinatra); it was a done deal, really.’

The admission puts further pressure on the BBC to give Clarkson ‘a firm telling-off’, following a week of embarrassing on-stage revelations from the presenter. Earlier on the tour he told a Stockport audience that he had ‘paid off Yoko to break up those bloody hippies the Beatles’, admitted to Bromley that ‘I can’t quite remember where I buried that bastard Shergar now’ and boasted to every venue on the tour about a lengthy affair with the wife of BBC TV’s head of programming Alan Redditch (‘Ironically, I gave her more repeats that summer than even he could manage’).

An obvious target; Shergar was powered by dieselBBC management shrugged off the latest news: ‘Jeremy is one of our finest talents.’ Mr Redditch told reporters ‘As such, he is a maverick with strong views of his own, some of which he unsurprisingly chooses to act upon. We are delighted to have him back on board for an exciting autumn schedule here on BBC1, which includes some exciting new comedy and really classy one-off dramas and documentaries…’

The decision not to discipline Clarkson has drawn sharp criticism from other sections of the Corporation. ‘It’s one rule for the minions and another for their precious ‘talent” read a statement from the former staff of BBC Radio Stoke, who were fired en masse last year, after admitting that their station mascot ‘Oatcake the Llama’ wasn’t real, and didn’t, in fact, ‘pull competition winners from our magic top hat with his teeth’.

A spokesperson for Mr Clarkson commented: ‘I’m afraid Jeremy is unavailable for comment right now … OK, only joking; here he is …’

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2009 by Skylarking

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