Man’s sex life ruined by realising what his parents were up to during his weekend ‘cartoon time’
Matt Jones, a 38-year-old husband and father from Whitstable, found his sex life with his wife Hannah experienced a sudden crisis last weekend after a shock realisation of what had been going on when his own parents had always let him watch video tapes of cartoon shows and eat Coco Pops on the sofa while they stayed in bed on Sunday mornings.
It had been just before 7.30 on Saturday morning when Josh, Matt’s four year old son, had burst into the couple’s bedroom practising his Power Rangers moves, which usually triggered everyone getting up to undertake a family fun outing. However on this occasion Hannah suggested their son go downstairs to watch TV, and help himself to the box of Cheerios. Matt admitted he had been surprised by his wife’s new approach to parenting, until an unexpected tug under the bed covers had quickly strangled any protests from the concerned father.
With Josh happily entertained, events proceeded to plan for the couple for the next five minutes until Matt, as a means of distraction, found himself comparing the merits of ‘Ben 10’ to his personal childhood favourite ‘Battle of the Planets’ and made his shock discovery. ‘Since then that’s been it frankly,’ he explained, ‘until then I just thought mum was a bit giggly because she loved cooking the Sunday roast, and dad whistled that much because he enjoyed a lie-in. The mental images forged that fateful weekend morning have pretty much condemned Josh to being an only child.’
However Matt’s wife Hannah, while finding her husband’s emerging hang-ups bewildering, is sure that with time her mature, adult approach to sexual relationships will ensure that their love life recovers the passion that has so suddenly been lost due to her husband’s family history.
‘Fortunately we didn’t have any of that kind of nonsense in our family’, she said, ‘my parents were always up with the larks on a Sunday, in very cheerful moods, which was surprising really, as dad often had to drive for miles after some dinner party mix-up which meant he came home with the keys to one of his friends’ cars…Oh God.’
Posted: Sep 30th, 2009 by nealdoran
Click for more stories about: Features
