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Archive for September, 2009

Bristol Man granted 6ft Chugging free exclusion zone

Legal history was made today when Stewart Cropland (39) was granted a 6ft foot Chugging free exclusion zone around him. Any Chugger, Pedlar or Hawker who breaches the exclusion zones faces two weeks imprisonment and the charity faces a GBP1,000 fine.

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Posted: Sep 27th, 2009
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Police commissioner apologises to court and pays locksmith’s costs after he locked up offender and threw away key

hanging's too good for him‘Failing to stop at a red light? If I had my way they’d be sterilised at birth.’

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Posted: Sep 27th, 2009
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Fortieth birthday finds ET still droning on about his visit to Earth

‘Jesus, the bloke’s forty now, and all he can bloody talk about is his holiday on Earth,’ said one of ET’s cousins, at the fortieth birthday of the once celebrated space traveller, ‘it really is time he moved on.’

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Posted: Sep 26th, 2009
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Scientists find fifth razor blade lasts longer than the others

The last razor blade in a pack of five lasts up to five times longer than all the others, researchers have found.

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2009
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Social fabric disintegrates as small child reveals car boot just selling tat

The quiet town of Market Harborough, Leicestershire, is at the centre of the unraveling of British Psyche today after four year old Howard Grimshot, attending a local car boot sale, suddenly screamed ‘Hold on this broken plastic dinosaur ain’t worth 5p. It’s tat.’

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2009
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