President Barack Obama is today celebrating the news that Congress has agreed to support his proposals to establish an NHS style healthcare programme in the US, on the proviso it closely resembles the Carry On films.
Posted: Sep 16th, 2009
More from News In Brief
When Seargeant Roy Myers of Precinct 14 on the mean streets of East Rutherford, New Jersey, heard that Joey ‘Fingers’ Dalessandro might know something about a recent spate of gangland murders, sources told him that he would be sure to find his man at the Little Darlings strip joint on Highway 36. His sources were wrong.
Posted: Sep 16th, 2009
More from World News
The government is being forced to rethink its policy of making duelling with swords legal in the UK. Introduced last July, the expanded duellists’ code was said to reflect the demands of upholding honour and respect in a vibrant, modern society where it is often considered necessary to ‘defend one’s hood’ and on occasion ‘twat someone who’s been staring out your be-yatch’.
Posted: Sep 15th, 2009
More from News In Brief
Undercover researchers from Amnesty have discovered Britain’s millions of missing bees, working around-the-clock in Vietnam to produce souvenir honey for the 2012 Olympic Games. Attempts to rescue them floundered, however, as the bees turned on their would-be saviours. ‘The conditions are fiercely hot, sticky, overcrowded and airless,’ said a spokesbee, ‘We love it.’
Posted: Sep 15th, 2009
More from News In Brief
A top tourist attraction faced an uncertain future last night as it transpired that every single animal residing within the facility has an inappropriate past, rendering them ineligible to come into contact with the millions of children who visit the zoo every year. ‘We were horrified to find this exhalted children’s insitution awash with murderers, thieves and gross sexual offenders,’ said a representative of Westminster Council. ‘How on Earth can we possibly sanction the exposure of our children to a place where every single inhabitant boasts a public decency conviction for appearing naked in public? Except for Jim Lad the Parrot, of course, with whom the board was satisfied that the roller skates he dons for his twice-daily show constituted suitable attire.’
Posted: Sep 15th, 2009
More from UK News
Loading...