NewsBiscuit

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Archive for October, 2009

Demand for MP horror masks see Halloween surge

While sales of ‘traditional’ scary masks of ghouls and ghosts are on the wane, demand for ‘terrifyingly lifelike’ political character masks was said to be soaring this Halloween.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2009
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Winner of Writer of the Month – October 2009

It took until October 2008 and the award of the NewsBiscuit Writer of the Month title for Neal to add an achievement to his CV to surpass second place in the Little Prince contest which was the highlight of one sunny summer week at Pontin’s in the 1970s. Retaining the title, against even tougher competition than that faced in a holiday camp ballroom over three decades ago, is an honour that tops them both.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2009
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Jehovah’s Witness kept talking all evening after making mistake of opening door to trick-or-treaters

they had an answer for everythingThe family of Mark Loveday, a 38-year-old Jehovah’s Witness from Lewisham, South London, was today regretting his ever having opened the front door to trick-or-treaters after he became embroiled in a painful three-hour discussion about the true meaning of the festival and its significance to modern society.

‘He should really have known better,’ said his wife Abigail, today. ‘It’s not as if they don’t stand out the way they dress up especially to go door-to-door, and there’s always at least two of them, though only one ever does the talking. Poor Mark thought he might be able to talk them out of a few of their misguided beliefs, but his ‘Have you heard the good news about our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ’ was no match for their dogmatic chanting of ‘trick or treat’.’

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2009
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Recruitment Drive Launched for Community Support Fire Officers

Applications are being invited for the new post of Community Support Fire Officer, which is aimed at civic-minded civilians who like to watch fires but lack the courage or skill to put them out.

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2009
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Russian parents offered refund on Baby Eisenstein DVDs

A full refund has been offered to all parents who have purchased Baby Eisenstein products after it was revealed that not one toddler has yet become a revolutionary film director.

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2009
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