Louvre suffering ‘pangs of doubt’ over portrait restoration deal with L’Oreal

the Da vinci phwoar!

The curator of the renowned Musee de Louvre, Paris, has issued a stark warning to other portrait galleries around the world following uncertainty over restoration work delegated to cosmetic giant L’Oreal. ‘I let them loose on the Mona Lisa with a bottle of Elvive Full Restore 5,’ said Marie-Laure de Rochebrune, ‘and she’s now worth considerably less.’

Mme de Rochebrune was persuaded to hand over the portrait restoration work to L’Oreal after reading how their Pro-Keratin enriched crème promised to revitalise and rejuvenate the brunette. ‘We went for a natural dark brown, in keeping with the her original hair colour,’ said the curator, ‘but we hadn’t reckoned on just how much more ‘body’ her hair would have after the treatment. Now it keeps swinging about and setting off the burglar alarms.’

L’Oreal, however, say are they well-pleased with their work on the Mona Lisa. ‘We restored her missing eyebrows and treated her to a course of Revitalift Double Intensive Re-Tautening Day Cream, which successfully filled a lot of the cracks in her face,’ said a L’Oreal technician. ‘The extra long eyelashes certainly make her more alluring and we’ve also given her fuller lips with a high-gloss lipstick for a more ‘pouty’ look. ‘Enigmatic’ is so yesterday.’

Girlfriend, you need helpThe cosmetics company is now hoping to take their services to other portrait galleries. ‘I can’t wait to get my hands on Sir Isaac Newton,’ said the technician, ‘and there’s a few Picasso women I’ve noticed need some serious sorting out too.’

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Posted: Oct 7th, 2009 by

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