The world of conceptual art has been set chattering by news that Tracey Emin has agreed to be suspended in formaldehyde for a year on the advice of her accountants. The artist has agreed to take part in the latest installation by Fat Les frontman Damien Hirst entitled ‘Tracey Cayman’. Hirst described it as ‘a sort of conceptual visual protest song higlighting the gross iniquity of the current 50% top rate’.
Talking to the Whitechapel based modern art magazine CraSs*VEXX, Emin declared that she was ‘fed up to the back teeth with my hard-earned cash subsidising talentless no-hopers, hyped beyond belief by the Arts Council.’ The suggestion that the scheme is solely designed to ‘cross the 09/10-10/11 tax years and earn me back some tasty rebates’ has been throw into doubt by an employee of Ladbroke’s Notting Hill branch:
‘I had this funny couple in my shop the other day’ revealed Ronnie Jones (57) ‘Really strange Dick Van Dyke accents both of ’em … Anyway, they wanted to put ten grand on traditionalist art critic Brian Sewell dying of a heart attack after falling into a prolonged apoplectic rage.
‘Well, I’ve been saying the same thing for a while now: ol’ Sewelly spontaneously combusting over some modern art bollocks; it’s bound to happen soon. So we gave ’em odds of 2-1; they seemed happy enough, and I put a couple of nicker on it me’self.’