In a moving and solemn ceremony at Admiralty Arch today, military leaders read out the names of the country’s MPs who had overclaimed expenses during 2009.
‘We didn’t think the list would ever end,’ said a tearful Major General Nick Carter. ‘First there was the Prime Minister himself with £12,415 for gardening and cleaning, then Sir Peter Viggers with £1,645 for a duck house. By the time we got to Lord Mandelson’s £800 for tree surgery some three hours later, we all had a lump in our throat.’
However veterans pointed out that MPs were still being sent into frontline Parliamentary duty poorly equipped. ‘These people are putting their reputations on the line for their country, and the least we can do is give them the equipment to do the job. MPs are being forced to lay out their own hard-earned cash on essentials like bath plugs and toilet seats, and then live in hope it’ll be paid back later. It’s a disgrace.’