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Economists hail recovery as sales of ‘stupid crap’ boom

Economists are predicting the end of the UK recession this weekend, after figures showed a huge increase in the sales of ‘utterly useless tat’.

The news of the upturn in sales of Royal Doulton porcelain cats and collectable plastic Disney characters was welcomed globally due to Britain’s historical significance as a bellwether for economic growth in vital sectors, from the cotton of the industrial revolution to the post-War boom in chemicals and software, and now the dmeand for fake Burberry handbags produced in Chinese sweatshops.

‘The world economy almost ground to a halt when Britain turned their backs on laminated pink mobile phone covers,’ said government advisor Professor Alan Lloyd of Cambridge University, ‘But thanks to the Great British consumer’s readiness to waste his meagre earnings on calendars in which you can just about see the outlines of a fireman’s cock, we can all breathe easily again’.

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Posted: Nov 1st, 2009 by Oxbridge

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