British libraries are to be fitted with Reading Enforcement Cameras to catch anyone reading too fast or without due care and attention. People caught blithely skimming through books will face a mandatory three points on their library card and a sixty pence fine.
The introduction of cameras was sparked following a 48-book pile up in Ventnor Library, Isle of Wight, caused when one man tried to speed read Professor Stephen Hawking’s ‘A Brief History of Time’ and travelled so fast he suffered a head on collision with an earlier version of himself.
The cameras have already upset some library users. ‘It’s just another money making scheme,’ said perpetually outraged man Bob Buzzard. ‘I got flashed and fined for flicking through Dostoyevsky.’ However, librarians insist that this was a clear case of the punishment fitting the crime of speeding through Crime and Punishment.