The wedding ceremony itself, held in Shanklin, Isle of Wight, had gone beautifully and the guests were in jubilant mood leaving the church, only to be greeted by a gigantic phallic cumulo-nimbus rearing obstinately and unmissably in the otherwise perfect blue skies above them.
Unfortunately the photographer had chosen a slightly low angle for the pictures, the better to show off the splendid Norman church behind the guests. The sad result was that the blushing bride appeared to have a monstrous 50-foot penis poking her in the side of the head at what should have been her proudest moment.
‘We tried to put a brave face on it, but we all knew it was there, hanging over us,’ explained Mr Fitzroy sadly last night. ‘My new mother-in-law had an especially fixed grin in her individual photograph, with a pair of cloudy testicles apparently brushing the top of her new hat, bless her. She hasn’t been the same since.’
Photographer Eric Bartholemew was in defiant mood when contacted by journalists this morning. ‘I capture the scene as it exists in a moment of time; like Cartier-Bresson before me I do not have the liberty of altering the truth,’ he insisted. ‘If this couple’s day was invaded by a giant cock, I can only record the fact. Anyway, they should be thanking me – no-one noticed the bride was pregnant, did they?’