The latest submarine blockbuster to be released by a major Hollywood studio, ‘Deep Killer Depths’, has been lambasted by critics for its lack of cliches.
‘It’s repugnant,’ TV Quick’s Alan Friend said yesterday. ‘At no point does the sub descend too deep, or too quickly. The little needle never goes into the red. Rivets don’t fly off and leaky pipes don’t explode. There was only one shot of the sea through the periscope, and it didn’t have a big destroyer looming towards the camera. I don’t know what they think they are playing at.’
An independent submarine movie analyst has confirmed that the total count of sonar pings during ‘Deep Killer Depths’ is nil, and, shockingly, that no member of the crew rebels against the eccentric sub commander only to grudgingly respect him by the end of the film.