Government recognises ‘Modern Warfare 2′ syndrome

the burden of having do a spreadsheet can become 'overwhelming'

Millions of office workers today rejoiced that the jittery paranoia they’ve been experiencing for several days when they arrive at work now has a name, and that treatment can be sought.

The government has finally acknowledged that many are finding it difficult to adjust to going back to civilian life after a full-on weekend of near realistic combat playing the latest ‘Call of Duty’ and are struggling to re-adjust to living in mufti and having polite chit-chat around the photocopier.

The condition is characterised by seemingly normal office workers diving for cover under their desks when anyone puts a stapler down on a table a bit too loudly, and many incidents have been reported of workers particularly in the IT industry rocking gently in their chairs, oblivious to the world around them or chasing imaginary butterflies by the water cooler.

Many office workers, despite the oncoming cold weather have been selling their snowboarding jackets for cash in anticipation of hard times ahead, and sitting on park benches in their lunchtimes with children looking at them strangely as they pull a banana out of their pocket to shoot a shrub which has been eyeing them up in a particularly threatening way.

Whilst acknowledging the problem, the government has criticised the producers of the game for not providing the necessary psychological back-up required for such intense situations, but has built a virtual hospital just outside to provide ‘the best support possible’ for those most affected, and extra online support is being offered by the charity Help for Zeroes.

But publisher Activision hit back, claiming that they’ve thought through all the possible consequences that the games would have on their loyal audience and promise that ‘Modern Warfare 3: Drinking aftershave in the gutter’ will take the realism of the situation to new heights and round off the series nicely. ‘After all, it’s an end-game that’s been fully endorsed by the government for, well, ever!’ they added.

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Posted: Nov 17th, 2009 by

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