In the first case of its kind a 40 year old man has married himself in a small ceremony in Weston-Super-Mare and now intends to spend the rest of his life devoted to making himself the happiest man in the world.
Tony Clarke, a lifelong egomaniac was happily married for 18 years but always suspected something was wrong. ‘Over the years I started spending more time alone and when I caught my reflection I began to hold my gaze for a little longer each time before coquettishly turning away, I would spend hours talking to myself and found I had so much in common with me. Inevitably it wasn’t long before I started seeing myself behind my wife’s back and it quickly escalated into a torrid affair’.
Tony sat with a look of total adoration on his face as he described his first date ‘it was like a fairytale, I had a quick drink in a local pub before heading to a quiet bistro for a romantic meal, maybe it was the thought of being caught out during my illicit rendezvous but I was almost trembling with anticipation, I remarked to myself that I had never looked more handsome as I stared longingly into my eyes reflected in the window bathed in candlelight. Afterwards I went for a moonlight stroll walking hand in hand with myself along the river, it was then I knew I could no longer carry on living a lie’.
One of the hardest parts for Tony was coming out to his parents. ‘Not for a minute did I ever imagine myself as gay, having never been interested romantically in another man but I had really turned my head and found that I was the most imaginative lover I had ever been with, able to bring myself to inexplicable heights of ecstasy with just a full length mirror and box of Kleenex. To my surprise my family were supportive, my father secretly confiding in me that he too had harboured thoughts of a liaison after catching sight of himself working out in the gym but had remained faithful for the sake of the children’.
Clarke has now returned to his work in the theatre, where he was suprised to discover that his civil partnership was readily accepted by his work colleagues to the point of indifference. ‘It’s almost as if all the other actors were more interested in what they had been up to than what I had been doing,’ he revealed.