The world’s foremost crime-fighters have told of their anger and frustration at a high court ruling upholding the governmental legislation insisting they carry an ID card confirming their secret identities. ‘This is a clear breach of super-human rights,’ fumed Superman, who denies using alter ego Clark Kent to claim housing benefit simultaneously in Metropolis and on the planet Krypton.
‘I am an honest, law-abiding citizen and have every right to the privacy and anonymity that changing my side-parting allows me.’ Whilst most superheroes accepted that the cards were unavoidable, one wasn’t prepared to take it lying down. ‘It’s a bloody disgrace,’ said Dr Bruce Banner. ‘It’s an absolute outrage. In fact, every time I think about it, I just get so incredibly…’ were his final words before transmutating into an irate green giant and embarking on an enraged killing spree claiming 32 victims. He was later released without charge, as police could see no resemblance between the perpetrator and the photograph on his ID card.