Family of four sight mythical ‘Vice-President’ in forests near Washington DC

Lives on Quayle, apparently.

A family of four from Seattle, on a camping trip to woods near Capitol Hill, Washington DC are the latest people to see the alleged ‘Joe-Biden’ or ‘Vice-President of the USA’.

The Vice-President, often described as ‘Sasquatch-like’, is described as a large, bipedal humanoid with a well-maintained silver mane believed to inhabit the forests of the Pacific Northwest of North America, and occasionally spotted in downtown Washington DC. Despite its larger than life presence it is said to be utterly harmless and also a ‘warm-hearted fun loving creature’, although a little awkward and prone to occasional gaffes.

‘It is possible that the Vice-President is an offshoot of the much more visible US President, sitting somewhere between the President and the equally well-documented Secretary of State,’ says crypto zoologist Lawrence Welch. There have been over 100 Vice-President sightings this year already, one of the largest on record, in locations as diverse as the Appalachian mountains to the deserts of Iraq.

The family, the Hendersons, say they spotted the creature crossing a clearing between the woods and the river and recognised it immediately due to its Vice-Presidential pin and dark grey suit, which may have been a Ralph Lauren. They say the creature looked curious but appeared gentle, and even waved briefly at Mrs Henderson and the children.

Sightings of the Vice-President are often dismissed as a combination of folklore and mistaken identity. Those searching for the Vice-President have used a wide-range of technology – remote-controlled cameras, video surveillance systems, night-vision, and thermal imaging – in an effort to get video and photographic evidence. So far it has proved unsuccessful.

‘There is a significant amount of evidence of the Joe-Biden – there are tracks, there are fuzzy photographs, there are sliver hair samples, there are sighting reports – the problem is that none of it is all that great,’ says sceptic Larry Glick of Myth magazine. ‘What often happens is that people will be out in the wilderness and they’ll see something out of the corner of their eye – something dark or hairy or fast – that will surprise or shock them. Their natural inclination is to believe they’ve seen a member of the Executive Branch of the Federal government.’

But others say it is best to keep an open mind. Forensics expert Dwight Capra of the Milwaukee Police Department, a specialist in expensive leather shoe prints, says a recent cast is of a bespoke hand-stitched Italian brogue. The grain of the print clearly indicates it has been made by a large politician, at the very least a Senator. Capra compared the prints with those of Congressmen and two Supreme Court Judges and found distinct differences that indicates that there may indeed be another species of American politician that just doesn’t like to be photographed or appear in public.

Capra added: ‘As a crime scene investigator, I don’t deal in what I believe or what I think. I examine physical evidence and make a determination… I know there’s a Vice-President out there, because I’ve seen the physical evidence. It’s not the missing link, it’s not an extra-terrestrial, it’s just a public official – a flesh-and-blood seasoned member of the Senate that has learned to be elusive around man and avoids man where possible.’

The White House has refused to provide comment or even confirm that such a thing as a Vice-President might exist.

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Posted: Dec 11th, 2009 by

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