NewsBiscuit

Punsome-headline-writing agency Punning Clan Inc. today auctioned what it claims is the last remaining smutty Tiger Woods double-entendre to an unnamed tabloid newspaper. In the words of the agency, the bidder ‘beat off stiff competition’ at the auction to claim the gag for an undisclosed six figure sum, the largest for a juvenile tabloid wordplay of its type.

Punning Clan director Damien Gerund defended the agency’s claim that it was the final suggestive entendre to be gleaned at the expense of Mr Wood’s misdemenours: ‘The Tiger Woods saga has been a godsend for smutty headline agencies around the world: lots of sniggersome quips about ‘wood’ and his ‘drive’, not to mention all the references to ‘swinging’, ‘crouching tiger’ and ‘birdies’. But the fact of the matter is that this saga has been rumbling on much longer than any of us had expected; all our entendre-generating software indicates that the well has now run dry – unless, that is, another suggestively-named mistress comes out of the woodwork … and yes, we’ve used that one, I’m afraid.’

‘We’re preparing for a few more copycat golfing scandals in the coming months’ claimed Mr Gerund, adding mournfully ‘frankly the joy has gone out of it now though. Face it: there’s not a lot you can do with names like Paula Creamer or Jim Furyk.’

Posted: Dec 13th, 2009 by Skylarking