Shortest day shrinking warn climatologists

The annual shortest day is shrinking, claim scientists at the University of East Anglia’s Climatic Research Unit (CRU). ‘If present trends continue,’ said the CRU’s Dr James Foster, ‘by 2050 it won’t be worth getting out of bed at all.’

Oliver Johnson, 89, and a horologist for sixty-years, says he has noticed the shrinkage every 21 December in recent years. ‘There was a time when a day meant a day, but not any more,’ he said. ‘It’s quite serious and playing havoc with my escapement. I think it started the year the Titanic hit an iceberg, followed by Robert Maxwell jumping into the Atlantic Ocean.  I don’t know what the world’s coming to, but it certainly doesn’t add up to twenty-four hours anymore.’

Asked why the shortest day was shrinking, Dr Foster said ‘Er, I don’t really know, but we’ll dream something up. Hopefully, by the end of the day. Oh – it’s over.’

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Posted: Dec 21st, 2009 by

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