Isle of Wight resident Vickie Jones is suing a Ventnor cocktail bar claiming that the bar’s drinks failed to live up to the promise of their names.
‘I ordered Sex On the Beach and a Slow Comfortable Screw Against the Wall, followed by a Screaming Orgasm. All I got was a disappointing knee trembler up against a skip behind Asda,’ complained a very frustrated and emotional Mrs Jones while ordering a Red Headed Slut schnapps with a Cheeky Vimto cocktail.
Her husband Jack is also suing a local restaurant over the Death by Chocolate dessert he ordered for Vickie for their anniversary dinner. ‘The cheating cocktail drinking bitch is still alive,’ he pointed out while drowning his sorrows by ordering Blow Jobs, Buttery Nipples and Dirty Mother cocktails at a local hostelry as the IoW’s 8:30 pub closing time loomed.