Katie Price and Martine McCutcheon today led a star-studded protest against a move their ghost writers described as ‘insidious and sinister': the launch of a new novel by a completely artificial celebrity.
The novel, ‘Daddy don’t hurt little princess happy ever after’, combines three best selling genres of child abuse, memoir and romance and is expected to dominate the Christmas best seller lists. The book is remarkable in that it required no input from an expensive celebrity at all but was computer generated and then edited by a team of self employed journalists, reducing costs considerably.
The author is also completely computer generated and is hoped to do for publishers what Lara Croft did for the gaming industry. Her name, Abi Dhabi, has been described as a ‘truly inspirational brand, combining the earthy and familiar with exotic overtones of wealth and mystery’.
An expert said publishers expected to leverage the Abi Dhabi brand through articles and photo shoots for the full spectrum of magazines from Hello! to Nuts. It is even hoped she will be able to take on the all important chat show circuit. Described by detractors as ‘a cardboard cut out with tits’, it is thought she would blend in very well with other guests on programmes such as Friday Night with Jonathan Ross.
The novel has been ordered by all the main supermarket chains, with Tesco setting a precedent by negotiating a price per tonne, a move that will drive down the price even further when the paperback version is released.
Asked for a comment, Katie Price said that the new brand of artificial celebrities could put hard working mums such as herself out of business and was ‘an affront to natural women’.