Guardian Angel found guilty of stalking and sexual harassment

A Guardian Angel has been found guilty of stalking and harrassment after failing to keep its distance from an Isle of Wight woman.

In a landmark ruling Lord Justice Canning said, ‘This angel has clearly abused a position of trust with a vulnerable and highly suggestible client.’ The court issued an injunction that prohibits the angel from coming within 500 yards of Mrs Maureen Grebe, of Ventnor, Isle of Wight. The angel, which was found guilty in absentia after refusing to appear in court, will also be placed on the Celestial Offenders Register.

Mrs Grebe said: ‘At first it was nice to think that there was someone watching over me. But, after a while, it started to become a bit creepy. It followed me wherever I went. Then, it began coming into my home. I knew things had gone too far when I found a feather in my knicker drawer.’

‘These angels are very cunning,’ said Chief Inspector Jack Regan of the Ethereal Crimes Squad. ‘They take full advantage of their non-corporeal nature to wheedle their way into people’s lives. Then they deliberately avoid detection by cynically hiding behind their cloak of invisibility.’

Many are now calling for angels to face tougher vetting procedures, full CRB checks and the introduction of ‘Maureen’s Law’ – legislation that would give the public the right to know if a Guardian Angel was operating in the area.

‘We need guarding against these celestial perverts,’ said an outraged Mrs Grebe, ‘if I had my way they would have their wings clipped and their halos chopped off.’

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Posted: Dec 31st, 2009 by

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