NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Archive for December, 2009

Coca Cola pull the plug on Santa

Beverage giants Coca Cola announced today that they will be ending their sponsorship of Father Christmas after a disappointing December.

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Posted: Dec 30th, 2009
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Milk Tray Man beaten to death after delivering chocolates to Vinnie Jones’ wife

‘Milk Tray Man’, the suave, enigmatic individual who has taken it upon himself to deliver individual boxes of chocolates to women across the UK since 1968, died in tragic circumstances yesterday after apparently attempting to break into Vinnie Jones’ bedroom to deliver chocolates to Mrs Jones.

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Posted: Dec 30th, 2009
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Pregnancy parking bays will reduce school-run chaos

Clwyd Council is to provide parking spaces for heavily pregnant women to ease pressure on roads during the peak school-run period.

‘It’s only fair,’ said Welsh Assembly member Blodwyn Jones.

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Posted: Dec 29th, 2009
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Cabbie who sparked Iraq war does it again

The Iraqi cab driver who said he overheard two army officers claiming that Saddam Hussein had WMD ready for use in 45 minutes has done it again by infuriating London’s cabbies.

‘It’s bleedin’ war,’ said Alf Tubbs of the London Taxi Drivers’ Association. ‘The geezer who was the source for the intelligence that sparked the war drove a mini cab – no wonder Blair got it wrong. He should have got his intelligence from a geezer who’d done The Knowledge then he wouldn’t have got mini weapons of mass destruction. My members are bleedin’ furious.’

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Posted: Dec 29th, 2009
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Celebrity authors in protest against novel by ‘fake celebrity’

'They're just making it up!'The novel, ‘Daddy don’t hurt little princess happy ever after’, combines three best-selling genres of child abuse, memoir and romance and is expected to dominate the Christmas best seller lists.

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Posted: Dec 29th, 2009
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