NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Archive for January, 2010

Grand Theft Auto: Coventry Ring Road recalled for being too accurate

Grand Theft Auto: Coventry Ring Road, released last week for XBox and PS3, has had to be recalled owing to a number of injuries sustained during the game.

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Posted: Jan 31st, 2010
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Winner of Writer of the Month – January 2010

The mysterious Darkbill maintains the top spot for a second consecutive month. Speculation remains rife regarding the identity of the dark one. Even the upper echelons of the Newsbiscuit organisation are no closer to solving the riddle. Who are they? What are they? And how many members of the Chelsea team have they slept with?

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Posted: Jan 31st, 2010
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Bank of England unveils ‘real’ cash machines

The Bank of England is to boost the UK’s emergence from recession by installing cash machines in every town, at which citizens can each make a one-off withdrawal of GBP300 from the central Quantitative Easing Fund to spend as they please.

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Posted: Jan 29th, 2010
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Apple reinvents the wheel with the iWheel

Steve Jobs has unveiled the newest Apple product with the letter ‘i’ before it. Reporters gasped in awe as he held a large circular black object, with a metallic inner circle and dimples around the outside.

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Posted: Jan 29th, 2010
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Waitrose expands Essentials range for hard-up bankers

Supermarket Waitrose has extended its range of ‘Essentials’ food, to include several expensive products, such as foie gras, bluefin tuna, kobe beef, fugi and lobster, which had previously been beyond the means of bonus-less hedge fund managers and venture capitalists.

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Posted: Jan 28th, 2010
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