NewsBiscuit

New rules on child benefit that will come into force on January 1st, are starting to provoke outrage in the working and middle classes. For the first time, benefits will be payable only to parents who give their kids ‘average’ names like John, James, Mohammed and Steven for boys and Claire, Jennifer, Mary and Sarah for girls.

The rules will actively cut payments to parents who name their offspring after footballers (Ryan or Wayne) popstars (Pixie or Duffy) or celebrities and their kids (Jordan, Princess, Tiaamii or Peaches).
Similarly, middle-class parents who choose names like Jocasta, Hermione, Cressida, Cassian, Humphrey and Simeon will also see their benefits cut.

‘I don’t expect this to be popular, but it is the right move,’ a government spokesman said; ‘But our reasearch shows that parents who pick unusual names in the belief they’ll stand out are placing too weighty a burden on their kids. They feel they have to live up to the bizarre nomenclature.’

However critics say cutting benefits will have major economic repercussions. ‘Working class families will be unable to buy large screen plasma TV’s’ claimed the Daily Mail, ‘and middle class parents having to cut back on pony club and bassoon lessons.’

ajblacker

Posted: Jan 1st, 2010 by Guest