Concern is growing that Brummie is spreading much faster than originally estimated and colonising many of the dialects that once distinguished surrounding towns and rural districts.
‘We fear a Brummie epidemic,’ said Paul Jackson, professor of sociolinguistics at Walsall University, who is working on a vaccine, known locally as TamiFlow.
‘We have started an emergency inoculation programme for high risk groups, including pregnant women, who can protect their unborn children from developing Brummie in the womb.
‘We would like to reassure the general public that the vaccine is completely safe, although you may experience a slight Black Country inflection for a few days after the jab.’
A spokesman for Birmingham City Council read a prepared statement, but no-one understood what he said.