Organ donors to be permitted to make exceptions for ‘tossers’

A leaked report from the highest echelons of the NHS suggests that organ donors may soon be allowed to make exceptions for people they don’t like. In a radical overhaul of the system, intended to boost the popularity of organ donation after several years of declining take-up among members of the public, organ donors will in future be allowed to name up to five people they would specifically like not to receive their organs in case of emergency.

‘This is really a question of listening to what the public is saying, and doing what they want,’ stated Richard Tompkins, head of the NHS Organ Donor Register, ‘Lots of people would love to donate their organs to help people after they themselves have passed on, but the abiding concern for many people is that they’ll end up donating a kidney to a tosser. It’s not hard to understand their predicament: lots of people want to help others, but what if the end result of such selfless altruism is that Jeremy Clarkson’s or Richard Littlejohn’s life is prolonged for a further ten years?’

Although the revised scheme is proving popular with many people, some are questioning the morality of choosing who gets to benefit from one’s organs. ‘I was rejected by so many people,’ complained one recently retired parking attendant, ‘eventually the only liver available to me used to belong to George Best – frankly I think I’m better off without one.’

Spread the word - share this story: