The Met Office is promising one hundred per cent accurate weather reports in a radical overhaul of the way it forecasts the weather.
The move is in response to the blizzard of criticism that engulfed the agency after its failure to predict the recent snow. It says that in future weather reports will be issued retrospectively. ‘We guarantee that within twenty-hours of a weather event, we will report it on our site and on the BBC,’ a spokesman said from the roof of the Met Office. ‘We believe that with our modern computing software, we can achieve one hundred per cent accurate retrospective weather forecasts.’
The spokesman also said that in future the agency would issue a blanket weather report for the whole of the UK. ‘We’re doing away with messy and confusing regional weather reports. If people want to know about their local weather, they should do as the Met Office does and look out of the bloody window,’ the spokesman said, gingerly holding a finger up to the wind.