Neanderthal leaders today told a hurriedly called press conference that there are ‘clear and obvious differences’ between Neanderthals and Arsenal fans.
‘Neanderthals ruled Europe for tens of thousands of years,’ said a spokesman, ‘and possessed sophisticated linguistic and manufacturing skills. In no way can they be compared to a tribe whose primary cultural event is the kicking of a pig’s bladder and the ritualistic chanting of offensive slogans.’
Arsenal fans have responded angrily with aggressive displays, including chest beating, roaring and aggressive posturing. Some individuals, having mastered basic tool use, were able to pick up nearby heavy objects and throw them at the speaker.
‘I think that’s one nil to us,’ said the Neanderthal spokesman.