Compulsory retirement abolished for dead

Campaigners for dead people were celebrating today after the Department for Work and Pensions announced that employers will no longer be able to force people to retire simply because they are dead.

A spokesman for the Corpse Corps said: ‘There are many jobs the dead can do perfectly adequately, such as security guards and members of the House of Lords. It’s entirely outmoded to force these people to retire.’

Hospice resident Frank Brown said: ‘I’m delighted. I’ve got a family to support and it gives me great comfort to know that I’ll be able to work again. Quite frankly, I don’t see how my job advertising a golf sale will be affected by my demise.’

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