Fitness fanatic’s New Year pledge to slob out ends in run binge

tried to abstain, but couldn't help himself

A Solihull fitness fanatic’s annual resolution to become an overweight slob ended in failure again yesterday with a five-mile run before dawn.

Dean Hammond, 29, fell back into his old ways with a fast-paced run and a free weights session before a breakfast of grains, berries, natural yoghurt, fresh juice and spring water.

‘I can’t believe it happened again,’ said Dean, ‘I suppose it just comes down to a lack of will power. I’d love to be normal and watch hours of crap TV while pigging out on junk food and cheap lager like my mates, but I can’t seem to stick to the routine.’

Dean said that staying on the sofa was easy for the first couple of weeks of January because the streets were full of New Year runners and the gyms were overcrowded. He admitted: ‘No self-respecting runner would go out on New Year’s Day anyway, with so many people out there wheezing and stumbling in embarrassing designer jogging kit, so that gets me off to a good start. It’s similar with alcohol. I have a great time getting arseholed every night, and my poor work performance doesn’t matter because everyone else is on the wagon and buzzing around at double speed.’

Dean said that his cholesterol and blood pressure had been rising nicely and he’d put on about ten pounds, and he was even hopeful of getting on some long-term drug regimes – but then the old cravings began to return. One positive thing Dean found was that he has been able to negotiate an 11-month gym membership for half the price of a full year. ‘Their January takings provide their profit for the year, but then they get all this spare capacity.’

He said he was becoming resigned to being different, but he did enjoy being a slob for a short time. ‘What I may do in future is just take January off to give myself a break, and not beat myself up about it. There’s plenty of time for that when I start my triathlon training in February.’

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Posted: Feb 4th, 2010 by

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