Herefordshire Local Education Authority’s innovative new ‘Learning Village’ is doing its bit to fight unemployment by advertising for the position of village idiot.
With a starting salary of £18,000, depending on teaching qualifications and prior experience as a professional moron, the role is a challenging one, says principal Keith Pennington. ‘Today’s Learning Village idiot is part of a multi-agency children’s services team – it’s not just about chewing a piece of straw and saying ‘ooh-arr’ any more, although the wearing of a dirty smock and floppy hat is still an essential part of the job.’
Potential applicants are advised to send in their CV as soon as possible, as the post is one of the last to remain vacant in the village. ‘We’ve already recruited the eccentric major, the surly pub landlord and the daft old bat who runs the post office,’ Dr. Pennington revealed. ‘But the position of village schoolmistress have been axed due to cuts in the budget.’