Amy Dawson, a lethargic and pasty vegetarian from Rochester, has amazed scientists attempting to treat her by engaging in meaningful communication about her strange eating habits.
Through the use of MRI brain scanners, the team from St. Mary’s Hospital Neurology Unit have managed to implant in her head the idea that surviving solely on apples and pasta is not possible, and she has now been successfully convinced to eat a burger.
‘This is a remarkable breakthrough for medical science,’ said the team’s chief scientist, Dr Adrian Bell. ‘We were previously unable to explain successfully to teenage girls that eating meat was a normal part of a diet, and trying to survive with no iron or B12 was a miserable way to be. This is revolutionary research which will give hope to relatives of vegetarians everywhere – it is possible to convince a lethargic, pasty and morbid teenage girl to actually have a ham sandwich occasionally.’