Man gives up pretending to give up unrealistic things for Lent, for Lent

A Shrewsbury man has stunned friends by announcing that he is giving up joking about abstaining from doing things for Lent that he would, in all probability, not be doing anyway, for Lent.

Domestic appliance salesman Michael Lewis, 49, revealed how he traditionally answers questions regarding what he is giving up for Lent with unlikely pastimes such as skydiving, cliff jumping and bungee jumping.

‘It started a few years ago when one of my mates gave up crisps. He was getting a bit precious about it, so to shut him up I told him I was giving up jogging, which made everyone laugh as I’m not exactly Steve Ovett. It just snowballed from there,’ he continued, ‘in fact the year after I announced that I was giving up snowballing – having had an unseasonably mild winter.’

However for Lewis, the time has come to put such jocularity behind him; ‘The joke was wearing a bit thin to be honest.’ He also reveals that, as he nears 50, he is beginning to reflect upon the meaning of Lent in a religious context. ‘Pretending that you are sacrificing something which in reality has no bearing on your life, such as last year’s naked ping-pong bear fighting, is not only puerile but extremely disrespectful to the millions of Christians who’s abstinence actually means something. So this Lent I’m giving up pretending to give up things for Lent. That and wanking.’

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