Climate change causes London 2012 to merge Summer and Winter Olympics

Sebastian Coe has shocked the sporting establishment by announcing that, due a combination of climate change and the credit crunch, London 2012 will see the first ever combined Summer and Winter Olympics.

Many sports will be affected by the new icy track and field rules. Javelin Jumping will see competitors with skis launched off the end of a 70 metre ramp carrying a large spear, whilst Discus Dancing will see large, steroid-filled Eastern Europeans in sparkly leotards launch their discs at the end of a triple salchow with toe loop; spectators in rows A-M should wear appropriate headgear.

The BBC will be the host broadcaster of this sporting first, with lead commentator Stuart Hall excitedly proclaiming: ‘Haaaaa, haaaa, oooh, he’s mmmmwaaahaaaaa, spppppp, mnahhhh oh ho ho ho ho, mwaaaaahaahahaaaaa.’


Share this story...

Posted: Feb 22nd, 2010 by

Click for more article by ..

© 2018 NewsBiscuit | Powered by Deluxe Corporation | Stories (RSS) | T & C | Privacy | Disclaimer