Labour to give homeowners the right to tickle intruders

Gordon Brown promised sweeping legislation for the Criminal Justice System last night by appearing to give homeowners the green light to ‘tickle’ anyone breaking into their home.

‘If someone was in real danger and they felt that a reasonable amount of tickling was necessary, then they should be exempt from prosecution,’ said Gordon Brown, who was instantly blasted by David Cameron insisting that homeowners should have the right to give a burglar a ‘wedgie’, or in extreme circumstances, ‘a dead arm’.

Nick Clegg was quick to denounce the proposals and suggested that intruders needed ‘a big hug’ or ‘a nice piece of Victoria Sponge’ advising that ‘you should also help the burglar carry your goods to the car, as these can be heavy and if they were to put their back out on your property, you could be liable’.


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Posted: Feb 23rd, 2010 by

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