The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) – the world’s largest and highest energy particle accelerator – is ‘dead boring’ according to scientists who use it at CERN on the Franco-Swiss border.
‘I thought it would be like one of those rifle-range stalls on a fairground,’ said physicist Niels Williams, ‘where you can win a giant stuffed panda if you hit the target. But with the LHC, all you do is fire beams of particles close to the speed of light with very high energies just to collide with one another and reveal the secrets of the universe. Where’s the fun in that – and you don’t even win a stuffed panda.’
‘OK, I know LHC cost a few billion pounds,’ said astrophysicist Albert Bohr, ‘but you don’t get much of a thrill from stuff you can’t even see, getting smashed up in a collision you can’t see either. To me that’s just dead boring. Personally, I wouldn’t buy a LHC at half the price. I’m sticking with my Xbox.’