Welsh language experts have finally admitted what people have suspected for years – there is no such thing as the Welsh language.
Documents unearthed in the National Library of Wales at Aberystwyth show Owain Glyndwyr called for the language to be created ‘to screw the English after they’ve f*cked with us.’
‘This is a staggering finding,’ said Professor Garel Morgan, ‘I always knew there was something wrong with this bloody language; ‘dd’ is pronounced as a ‘th’, ‘ll’ makes you sound like you’re clearing your throat, and what’s with the lack of vowels? It’s just gobbledygook.’
However, the Welsh Assembly has come out with a strong defence of this weird arrangement of letters. ‘Where else in the world can you get away with screwing so badly with the English language? Parking becomes ‘Parcio’ and we’ve no word for vegetarian – its bloody hilarious’ gargled a spokesman.