Jobless ‘must be available for prostitution’, say new guidelines

In an unprecedented crackdown on unnecessary benefits claimants, all women currently claiming jobseeker’s allowance will soon have to demonstrate that they’re available to ‘turn tricks’ if they wish to continue receiving benefits.

‘The state should be there for those who have no other income’ said the work and pensions secretary. ‘It’s not there for people who can’t be bothered to stand under a lamppost and then give head in the back of a transit van.’

Women’s groups were outraged by the move, stating that the flood of ‘unskilled slappers’ entering the market would put professional ho’s out of business. ‘Some of them could even end up on the streets’, said a spokeswoman.

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Posted: Mar 6th, 2010 by

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