David Cameron was ‘reeling in shock’ at the discovery of a policy dumped at Tory HQ overnight.
CCTV images show a man in a dirty white Transit van leaving the health reform proposal at Conservative central office. ‘I’m deeply shocked,’ said Mr. Cameron. ‘We’ve worked long and hard to ensure that the Tory party is entirely free of policies, which might get in the way of our soundbites.’
The policy discovery has also left the party in a quandry as they struggle to remember what they’ve previously said about waste-disposal and recycling. ‘We’re checking our records’ admitted Cameron. ‘Our instinct is to throw this policy away immediately, but we’re worried that we may have said something short and to the point against that sort of thing at some stage’.