Seaside town to end 74 year Royal grudge

Sussex holiday resort Bognor Regis, famously insulted by George V on his deathbed with his ‘Bugger Bognor’ comment, has finally decided to forgive the Royal Family after 74 years of seething.

The town council has agonised for years in search of a suitable retort. The suggestion to drop ’Regis’ from the town’s name was met with general indifference, whilst a boycott of the 1982 broadcast of the Royal Variety performance failed to have any impact on the viewing figures.

However, Bognor’s mayor Ken Middleton explained that ‘the people of Bognor have decided at last that it’s time to move on. We realise now that the Royals have far more problems than we do, and really deserve our sympathy. Hopefully our forgiveness will help them in their difficult times.’

‘We still won’t be eating any Duchy Originals though’ he added.

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