Fallen hero Beckham to fly into Wootton Bassett for public tribute

David Beckham will be driven through the streets of the Wiltshire town this afternoon in what is expected to be an outpouring of public grief after his tragic achilles tendon injury ruled him out of the World Cup. Thousands are expected to line the route in appreciation of all he’s done for his country.

One man who’d camped out since last night choked back the tears ‘It’s not just a tragedy for the nation but for the whole world of football. To have someone taken at such a young age, struck down with a rather achy ankle and forced to take it easy for the next five or six months it’s just unbearable.’

The group of bikers who rode through the town on Sunday raising £100,000 have pledged to give the money to the ailing hairdressing industry who will be devastated by Beckham’s non-appearance at the World Cup with a new whacky must-have haircut. The Chancellor also offered to work on an aid package for the fashion and male-grooming sectors who will be particularly hit.

Several dead servicemen who were due to fly in there today have been rerouted to the cargo terminal at RAF Valley in Wales. An FA spokesman said ‘these soldiers are really overpaid for what they do you know, I mean any fool can go out to Afghanistan or Iraq and shoot people. I think the public know who the true heroes are.’

MADJEZ

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