The former President of South Africa is back in jail tonight after breaking the terms of his parole with a series of unpaid parking tickets. ‘It is quite right that I am back on Robben Island where I belong,’ said a shamefaced Mandela, ‘people just don’t realise how difficult it is to go straight after all these years.’
‘We had to act’ said President Jacob Zuma, ‘we all admire Nelson for his good work, heroic father of the nation, yada yada, but rules is rules.’
The parking ticket violations came to light following an international campaign which called for a boycott of South African goods unless Mandela was jailed. ‘Anti-Aparking’ protesters held regular rallies outside the South African Embassy dressed as Traffic Wardens and chanting the lyrics to the The Specials classic: ‘Fixed Penalty Notice for Nelson Mandela’.
‘It’s not just about parking tickets,’ said Archbishop Desmond Tutu, ‘Nelson regularly drops litter in the street, plays loud music until all hours and many of his shirts have become a public menace.’ On a visit to Britain, the former South African President became the first person to get an ASBO for his dress sense.
While he serves out the remainder of his sentence, the role of father figure of the South African Nation will be played by Morgan Freeman.
Basil B and Ludicity
26 March 2010